Well, I have recently showered and shampooed my hair for the first time in two weeks, about time, too!  Had a biopsy on my forehead on June 1st, so couldn’t get my hair wet last weekend. For my birthday in March, my wonderful daughter-in-law sent my hairdresser a check for four shampoo & sets. Unfortunately, the first three I used, I ended up being sick and spent three weeks in my faithful old recliner, but my hair surely did look great! My husband’s buddies come for coffee in the mornings and I just smile and wave as they pass by, but I did look good, although In looking myself over closer, realized my old robe is in rags, so need a replacement as soon as the new winter clothing comes in stock.

During the three weeks recuperating, I did look good for the colonoscopy I had, that is until they put those funny looking little hairnets on you during the surgical procedure. Fortunately, with all the hairspray from having had my hair done two days before (one of my free ones), it didn’t squash my hair too much! Then, I also still looked fairly presentable for my Oncology appt and was pleased that my recent illness from diverticulitis had lost me 3 1/2 lbs, (which I have probably put back on, and then some!)

My next treatment, where I still looked good was for a biopsy on my forehead since I had had my hair done two days before and had my bangs brushed to the other side of my forehead to give the dermatologist lots of room for whatever she needed to do. When I was a child, swimming daily was my “thing” and now I am paying for being in the sun so much. Have since learned about the dangers of childhood sun exposure/teenager sunbathing and using sun tanning treatments. It never affects you until later years, then it’s a perfect for cancer to strike which could be pre-cancerous sun spots, squamous or melanoma. The latter being the deadly kind. I was fortunate in that my biopsy just showed the sun spot kind which I had had  “frozen” (called cryosurgery) at least 4-5 times, but never removed the spots. That was the reason the doctor wanted a biopsy as preventative treatment to make certain one of the cancers wasn’t hiding underneath.

I return in three months and she may try cryosurgery once again though she suggested chemo cream treatment, but that is too costly at $150 a tube. She is to send me information for studying and I will discuss it with my Oncologist and get his opinion first, though the cost is prohibitive. Before closing, I want to re-emphasize the need to take good care of your skin when out in the sun, no matter what age you are. They suggest the #30 as the best, and to limit exposure to the sun and re-apply ointment if out for extended periods of time. Cancer is nothing to fool around with and skin cancer can be just as deadly as other bodily types.

That ends it for tonight and God’s blessings on anyone who may be reading this. (And please try to keep in mind some of the “grandmotherly advice I have tried to pass along”)  Grandma Suzie

Survived Cancer 3 Times

Cancer is a disease that touches practically everyone in one way or another.  Either we have personal experience or have family members or friends with someone having dealt with effects of cancer, and now I am dealing with cancer and the emotional impact that goes with it, and this is my story!

Last December I had a routine quarterly check-up and everything was fine except I mentioned I had been losing weight, although not really trying.  Having had cancer years before, I was seeing an oncologist every three months. Since unexplained weight loss can indicate a recurrence, he ordered some tests to be done.  Everything turned out normal, so was scheduled for my yearly check-up in April.  This time my Chest CT Scan revealed spots on my lungs, but the radiologist mentioned he had seen them in the December xray but that there had been no change.

When discussing tests results with the oncologist, he mentioned these facts to me and said the spots were too small to needle biopsy, but the radiologist’s opinion was that I had lung cancer.  Needless to say, I was stunned as this would be my fourth flare-up, over a span of 11 years.  But, he said they didn’t know what to do about it.

Three years before, in 2005, I had half my left kidney removed due to three malignant tumors and in 2003 I had a mastectomy as a lump was found on a yearly mammogram.  So, the problem was not knowing if I had breast or kidney cancer in my lung, and what type treatment should I be given.  Without a definitive diagnosis, the oncologist decided to send me to see a lung specialist (pulmonologist) for his opinion.  I was told by the latter physician that I wasn’t a candidate for surgical biopsy where they open up your chest, for which I am truly thankful!  He also said due to the location of the spots on each side of my lungs, they couldn’t be reached unless they grew larger.  He did mention the possibility that I could have scar tissue from a fungus which is common in many people or perhaps I had tuberculosis or pneumonia scars from when I was younger.  My visit ended with his declaring he just didn’t know what to do for me!

Next, I was referred to a kidney specialist (nephrologist) for tests to determine if my half a kidney could withstand surgery if needed since I was considered high risk for kidney failure.  Again, I was quite thankful to learn my half kidney was functioning at 67% which surprised the doctor as the normal function of one is at 75%.  So, he said I’d be able to go through surgery but would need to be monitored.  He did take me off salt usage due to my blood pressure reading being very high.  I told him that was normal for me when at a doctor’s office and I was told it was called “white coat syndrome”, but he said there was no such thing!  He wanted my pressure lowered to lessen my chances of having a stroke.  Since going off salt, I have lost fluid retention and a few pounds, but food no longer appeals to me as it is so tasteless.

My next appointment was back to the oncologist who had reports from the other two doctors and it was decided he’d order repeat Chest CT Scans every two months and this week I had my fifth xray.  I’ll see the doctor next week for results to see if there has been any enlargement in the past nine months since spots first appeared.

My original surgery was July 1997 where my right kidney was removed due to a tumor inside, but self-contained.  I needed no further treatment afterwards.  At that time my only symptom had been high blood pressure but I had been in treatment for several years yet it had remained high.  Finally I decided to change doctors, and being a new patient, routine bloodwork, chest xray and physical exam were done.  The xray revealed an enlargement of my kidney showing up at lower edge of xray and I was referred to a urological surgeon who took one look at the xray and bluntly told me I had kidney cancer.  It was like being hit by a ton of bricks as I was so shocked, and soon the tears were flowing down my cheeks.

However, before surgery could be done, a bone scan was needed because if there had been any spread to my bones, then surgery would not be necessary and my time of living would be limited.  It would be several days later after the test (which was done the following day) before I would learn the test results.  That was the toughest time emotionally and I was a “basket case” with fear, but I, being a Christian, called on family, friends and churches asking for prayer support as all of this was beyond my natural ability to cope with.  When the news came that the test was negative, I dropped to my knees and praised God for His mercy and again the tears just ran down my face in gratitude.

The after-effects of the first surgery was mainly a lengthy healing period and then I was doing well until 2003 when the mammogram revealed the tumor in my breast.  After discussing my options with the surgeon, I decided on a complete mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy as I wanted to be certain all cancer was removed.  Fortunately, after having my breast and lymph glands removed and biopsied, no further cancer cells were found, so I didn’t need chemo or radiation afterwards.  However, I did have some problems with lymphedema in my arm and needed 3 months of physical therapy/massage which proved quite painful.  The incisional area especially needed massaged as I was told the skin could grow attached to my ribs and then I’d really have problems!

After the mastectomy, I learned all about wearing a prosthesis (fake booby) and was sent to a Women’s Boutique for fittings, and this resembled a lovely lingerie shop.  Medicare covers the cost of these and the special bras needed.  They are also equipped with other items women may need such as swim suits, wigs, etc.

While in the hospital, a social worker visited me and told me about a cancer support group that meets in the hospital which I later started attending.  I had been unaware there was such an organization, but my first visit upset me greatly as I never realized cancer could attack so many parts of a person’s  body.  In listening to the different cancer survivors discuss their coping techniques has been very encouraging and so I continue to attend monthly meetings.

Throughout all these years of cancer surgeries, numerous tests and xrays, I guess I’ve toughened up compared to my younger years.  My faith and trust in God has deepened.  His tender mercy towards me has been proven many  times and I have had so many answered prayers.  Last year I was interviewed on a local Christian Radio Station talking about my experiences and the ways God had intervened in my life and had given me “holy boldness” where I could talk with so many people about Him and His goodness to me.

One particular incident I’d like to mention is taking a bone scan test.  I was quite scared beforehand as I knew the results would determine my eligibility for surgery to remove the kidney tumors (2005).  While taking the xray I mentioned to the technician my nervousness and apprehension about waiting 3-4 days for the results as it was quite nerve-wracking!  He told me to wait to dress until he checked the clarity of the films.  While waiting, I was again praying for mercy as I had done for weeks before the scan.  When he reappeared, he leaned over and whispered to me that the results were negative and I had nothing to worry about, so go home and enjoy the weekend.  I was so grateful for his kindness and consideration as I know they are not allowed to tell people test readings, so I saw the hand of God once again!

Although this has been emotionally draining many times, at present I am trusting God that this last test will again show no growth, yet at the same time praying to have the courage to deal with whatever may come next.  I do want to mention how useful our cancer insurance from AFLAC has been.  Three times they’ve paid the claims promptly, efficiently and generously.  Many people don’t carry this type coverage, but I can highly recommend it.  As you may realize by now, my coping skills are being used in getting back into writing.  I developed a love for writing stories, articles and poetry, years ago when in high school and at one time considered being a journalist.  So, here I am at aged 72, finally realizing a dream, and hopefully the ideas I have in my head for stories will come to fruition.  I hope the story of my battle with cancer will be of interest or help to someone.

It’s about noon now and not my usual time for writing. Usually I lay down to sleep and then thoughts start tumbling around in my head, but today I can blame this article on my #3 son, who telephoned a little while ago. He can be quite “bossy”, yet since he is my “writing mentor”, guess he is excusable. But I told him our roles have reversed, as mothers are the ones who “boss” their sons around, telling them what to do!

Another son is also good at “advising me”, but I sometimes forget he’s a family man and doesn’t need his mother offering unsolicited advice. I usually know that I have overstepped my advising role when he responds MO-THER! I have tried to tell him that what I’m telling him is only information that I am not sure he’s familiar with, but that doesn’t seem to help undo his lack of patience with me. I have learned to “shut up” when I get the Oh Mother prompt. In these cases, I hastily retreat with advise-giving and change the topic.


My sister is also quite good at giving me advise, or suggestions, though usually I am quizzing her about something and I am sure I frequently am annoying! As my younger sister, she’s good at reminding me how old I am and what do I expect, at my age (which soon will be 73!). Even though she is my younger sister, her advice is pretty good when I think about it, I just have to let it get past my ego.

Seems I have had this stubborness about listening to others all my life. For example, when younger, I was always asking my Dad questions and I am sure I must have been a bother to him also, but I guess I have an inquisitive mind and need answers to many things.

This all brings me to the point of this little expose. When I think back to things that have happened in my life and consider all the advice I have gotten along the way I can see that in most cases, the advice that I let in and acted upon has generally paid off.

For example, several years ago my health started to get the best of me such that I had to quit working out of the house. When this happened, I really got depressed about what my life’s purpose was. I talked to my sister a lot about it, and to a couple of my sons. They all had suggestions for me but I didn’t really listen to them. As a result, I was housebound with no purpose which made me miserable.

However, I guess I had told my desire to my sons and sister about wanting to write my life’s story which led them into encouraging me to start writing. Which I started to do. Then my #3 son asked me to do some writing for one of his websites. This got my writing juices flowing even more. In talking to my #3 son, he encouraged me to really start writing short stories about my life, things I have learned along the way etc. He told me that if I would write them that he would put together a website for my writing.

Well, I took the plunge and it has been wonderful. I have written quite a bit for both my son’s business and for my own website. Incidently, yes – GrandmaSuzie.com is the name that my son and I came up with.

I’m now living my dream of being a writer that I have had since I was in high school and have a purpose. All of this is because I listened to others.

These are challenging times for all of us, no matter what your economic status. Those who unfortunately took a “loss” in the recent stock market crash, are finding they, too, have to re-examine their spending habits and re-evaluate luxuries and necessities, even cutting back when they never before had the need.

Then there are those of us who’ve been living on limited incomes that are no longer sufficient to cover the daily/monthly costs of living.  Many have lost their source of employment and finding a scarcity of jobs for which they are qualified.

The end result is all of us are looking for ways to cut costs in every area of our lives, but people are using their imagination and creativity in solving these problems.  With rising fuel costs, many have turned to bicycles with baskets, or motor scooters, if in a  local neighborhood near a reasonably priced grocery store.  Car-pooling is again increasing and sharing transportation for grocery shopping, doctor or dental appointments, (when these appts. coincide time-wise); and of course sharing rides to places of employment or to a train or bus stop if living in the suburbs outside a city.

Consignment and Re-Sale Shops are doing more business.  Real bargains can be found, even on new or barely worn clothing.  Many towns and cities have Ministerial Alliance Associations who run used clothing stores and food banks.  Items are very inexpensive in the clothing store with prices as low as 10 cents up to a dollar for a coat.  This type Food Bank doesn’t charge and there aren’t any qualifications other than signing your name and address.

Some towns offer a food package for $25.00 to $30.00 once a month.  They list the next month’s food items in the paper so you know if you’re interested.  They include a variety of 4-5 meats, vegetables, fruits and usually a dessert item.  You just call a phone number and tell them your order since for a larger family, more than one package might be needed.

The department stores have had to lower their prices and if shopping carefully, many quality items of clothing can be found at 60-80% reduction.  Charge card customers often receive extra percentage off discount coupons in the mail which when applied to sale or clearance items makes quite a savings in cost.

Restaurants frequently send out “two for one” coupons and you can also browse the Internet for coupons for savings at Brand Name stores, Restaurants, Services, Airline fares, etc.  Free shipping is also offered On-Line from your favorite stores as well as coupons for discounts.  On-Line shopping also avoids hassling with crowds and conserves your car’s fuel.

There are many discount grocery stores where you save by bagging your own.  I was in Wal Mart one day and saw a salesclerk lowering prices on some canned goods.  She told me they try to stay competitive with the local discount store and I’ve found they do have the same prices on many items, which was a fact of which I was unaware.  Comparative shopping is the key to getting the best bargains. Though if only needing milk or bread (or both), it isn’t worth the expense to use the gas to go to the discount store in another town, when my local grocery store is only a few cents higher.

An advantage the past year occurred at the local pharmacy when they reduced many of their generic prescriptions to $4.00 for a month’s supply or $10.00 for 90 days.  This has really saved us a lot in medication costs.  You do need to have your physician write the prescription for a 90 days supply instead of only 30 days.

Another way of saving on food costs is sharing with friends and neighbors.  My friend was given half a ham, which was too much for her and her husband, so she baked it and gave us half of that, then I had baked a cake and sent part of it to them.  Another neighbor had 10 lbs potatoes which were on sale, but too much for just her.  She gave me 5 lbs and I paid her half the sale price as we only needed the smaller portion also.  Actually, it’s rather interesting, sharing like this, as I never know what will come next!  Last summer we were given home grown tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers, squash and other veggies, all of which saved on our food budget.

Perhaps with the hard economic times we all are going through, it’ll start bringing back the neighborhood friendliness that used to be so common in our society.  Somehow or other we’ve drifted away from that in many areas, but a lot of it is due to the necessity for both the husband and wife to work.  Since computers appeared on the scene, more people are now working out of their own homes.  This, too, is saving on gasoline, cost of clothing for the workplace, expense of eating lunch or commuting costs, and for young parents, it saves on babysitting expenses.

So, there are ways to save money if we just put on our “thinking caps” about the things we can probably do without and save that extra expense!

Enough of this serious stuff, a bit of rambling thoughts is needed, I was remembering a job I once had as a salesclerk in an “upper class” neighborhood department store.  We were on our feet constantly seeking out customers to help. Also, I remember going into department stores and always being greeted by a very courteous hello and “may I help you?” from fast responding salesclerks.

One day way back in the day, I found out they had hired a lady undercover policewoman who specialized in watching for shoplifters.  She appeared in the store on her first day as a very well-to-do fashionably well-dressed lady.  I wanted to spend time talking with her concerning all the aspects of her special job, but in those days, as I already indicated, salesclerks actually spent time with shoppers in finding particular items.  So I just observed her movements through the department and occasionally I’d hear the door alarm go off.  Then I’d know that someone was caught sneaking out without paying for something.  It was quite fascinating watching her in action.

It is quite different today when shopping and the personal service we used to receive just isn’t available most places due to necessity of employee cutbacks for economic reasons.  It is frustrating,  when in a store and needing help and not being able to find anyone nearby to contact.  I don’t know how many times I have selected what I wanted to buy on my own and then have turned to find the nearest checkout stand only to find so many of them closed. And usually when I find one that is open, it has a long line. Sadly, it is just a “sign of the poor economic times” and the need for stores to cut down on their staff, so it is just something else that we all have to accept, deal with, and make adjustments whenever necessary.

That’s enough now with this short story.

One advantage to “being older” is getting away with being a “weirdo”.  Just about any action, word, expression others can explain away with “Well, really, she IS up in years now, you have to overlook things she says or does!”  I’m not sure I like having myself explained that way, but well, I guess I’ve always had some weirdness about me!

Just finished shampooing and setting my hair which I know will be standing out every which way when I take the rollers and pin curls down tomorrow, but had to give up my weekly hairdresser appt. Boy it has been a long time since I put my own hair up in curlers that I called my hairdresser yesterday to ask about the type shampoo-in hair color I thought I once used. No wonder I couldn’t find it as it has been renamed, bottle color changed to pink from gray, and size reduced! I thought maybe adding a little dark blond to my white hair might make me look younger, but that really won’t look so good with aging, wrinkling skin on my face.  I must accept that I am in my elder years whether I like it or not!

When in my early 40’s I went through the “Sandwich Generation”. I had a 6 year old son, was newly remarried and my parents were in their late 70’s and quite ill.  These types of circumstances make it tough on this group of adults averaging 40-60 years as they working hard to support their families, as I was. Life is even tougher if you have young children in school or older ones participating in athletics or even putting one or two sons or daughters through college.

There are so many challenges people face during these years. Older parents become ill and more dependent for support and need care in daily living, many times sacrifices are necessary. Other times married adult sons or daughters have children and as a grandparent, you are often called upon for babysitting or chauffeur services and expected to attend their school/church functions.  If you are older age, your own health may no doubt be feeling the stress and you may find it necessary to seek personal medical care.

It’s especially tough dealing with this period in your life now with economic problems hitting all around you. There’s not a daily news broadcast that isn’t mentioning some new trouble our nation is facing. Get a positive attitude, live within your means and keep the faith that you’ll make it through. You will, like I have – even when it doesn’t seem like it is going to be that way.

I personally survived all of the above hardships, but admit, “it ain’t been easy!”, but we do get through these years.  Even though I am over 70, I still get concerned about my own sons and son-in-law who are all in this “sandwich generation” period of time.  Would love to just “swish” all the troubles away for each of them, but know that there is purpose in the things we endure.  All that happens to us is building character and developing a toughness where we can face life’s challenges no matter how difficult the road we’re traveling in life seems to be!

So long for now.  God’s blessings on all who might be reading about these “antics” of grandma suzie!

Recently, I was working on a project in writing, but just couldn’t get my thoughts together on the subject, so decided to give it up for the night and try to get some sleep.  However, as frequently happens, I lay there wide awake with thoughts just tumbling through my head, in one direction or another.  Finally, decided it was pointless to stay in bed, so here I am at the computer at an “early hour of the morning”,  waiting for inspiration to “hit” me.  One can’t help be aware of all the latest news in our country as well as the world and the political situation.  It is disheartening to hear the economic situation recently developing and its effect on all of us.  Then the devastation from hurricanes, tornadoes, tropical storms, floods, fires and earthquakes is cause enough to keep our nerves and emotions in an uproar!

Through the years I have been so blessed to have had five sons!  They are all grown men now, with families of their own.  Unfortunately, they live scattered across the states, so I seldom get to see them or my grandchildren (and their children).  Yet in my mind, they are still the little rambunctious, devilish, adorable, little fellows always looking for something else to do which might aggravate their mom or dad or help pass their time.  I can recall each of their births so vividly and oh, such joy when I learned that each was expected.  When pregnant with my first son, it was such a new experience as I never recall even being around a baby before and I was totally clueless what to do with one!  So  many mistakes I made raising him, it was truly God’s will that he survived!  My anticipation for his birth was so great, I remember frequently opening the little dresser containing the baby clothes and laying them all out, touching them and rubbing against my face.  Imagining how the baby would look in the white, yellow and pale green blankets, nighties, shirts, bootees, sleepers, etc.  These were the colors used in the “olden days” when not knowing the gender of the expected child .

Then no greater joy or thrill can compare with holding that little newborn in my arms and getting introduced for the first time.  Oh how, I loved being a mother!  Then number 2, 3, 4 and 5 came along and each time I was expecting, it was like I had never had a baby before (except by then I was smarter and knew better what to do in caring for them).  It is unexplainable, unimaginable happiness with these little gifts from God.

When my sons were young, I never thought much about the future  when they’d be grown and out on their own as I was so busy getting them through those years,  I never planned in my mind any particular career choice for any of them.  My only wish and desire was that they decide on something where they’d earn enough to support their families, look forward to going to work and enjoy their choice for their life’s work, and I might add that it has always been important that they know where they’ll spend eternity.

Another area of contemplation that bothers me late at night, however, is how each of my sons will survive the present economic situation and how it will affect them as each are involved in some phase of financial services and their livelihood depends on good economic times.  We are all aware of the political situation and it is beyond me how anyone would even want the job of being president!  What a mess of problems and amount of decisions to be facing when newly elected.  But, then I have to remember that God is in charge of this world of ours and He is the one who makes the choices of government officials.  Thank God, I do have faith in Him and know that He is aware of our world and nothing takes Him by surprise.  There must be a purpose for each of us, but finding out what it is can be quite a challenge.

Will, I believe I have finished relaying my many scattered thoughts for one night (or should I say morning?) and I should try again to get some sleep.  Many of my friends have the same problem, but we haven’t figured a cure as yet.  We sleep when we can, whether napping in our recliners during the day or perhaps getting a few hours sleep at night.  So long for now and God’s Blessings on y’all!    Grandma Suzie